Grant, Watch Your Head!

Grant wearing his protective helmet

By: Davida Grant

It’s groundhog day every day in my house.  Every morning and every night before bed, my son Grant, you know the one I previously said “totally captivates me”, throws his head to the floor in complete tantrum mode.  Why?  Because he doesn’t get his way and to Grant that is unacceptable. Initially, I thought he’d stop the head throwing pretty quickly.  While his head is pretty hard, the floor — our hardwood floor — is unforgiving.  My head actually starts to hurt when I see it.  And he isn’t bothered a bit.  He doesn’t even seem to mind the resulting knots on his head, thankfully nothing serious.  Last week alone, I received three calls from his daycare about this issue.  I panicked.  How much more could that beautiful head of his take?

So the researcher in me let loose and alas I found the solution.  A helmet.  I ordered it immediately and Grant wears it EVERY WHERE.  Now when he throws his head back I simply look at him and smile.  He doesn’t know what’s going on with me and boy is he perplexed.  I actually think he took pleasure in seeing the look of fear on my face each time he threw his head to the floor.  Well Grant, point for mommy.  Now, it’s your turn.  Can’t wait to see what you do next.

Report Cards are in. Why was I so nervous?

By:  Davida Grant

My preschooler, Simone, got her first report card this week, or rather I should say the hubby and I got it.  I was a bundle of nerves before the parent-teacher meeting.  I really want baby girl to do well and being the overachiever, straight-A student I was, I was fearful that I would not respond well if Simone’s teacher gave her less than favorable or even mediocre scores.  I know this sounds a little crazy because she’s only three, but hear me out.  Simone had serious medical issues her first year of life which impaired her ability to verbally express any sound until she was 1-years old.  Since then, she’s been in speech therapy classes (thanks Stacey Raina, a Brookland area DC mom) and at home, we’ve put a lot of effort into developing her pre-literacy skills.  We apprised her teachers of her issues and Simone has been consistently working with a school speech therapist.  Her communication skills have improved dramatically.  While I would expect Simone’s report card to take into account her communication issues, those issues should not be used against her.  I’m not having that, PERIOD. Simone, from a cognitive perspective, is on track (she’s had multiple tests in this area) so I fully expect the majority of her scores to reflect that she is on target.

The hairs on my arms (nope, I don’t wax those) were literally standing at attention when I sat down for the meeting.  I braced myself as her teachers (she has two) slid over the white envelope containing her report card.  You could hear a pin drop.  WHY WEREN’T THEY TALKING!  As I opened it, the sound of my heartbeat was pounding in my ears.  I know this sounds overly dramatic, but it’s the truth.  My hubby stared at me, not knowing which Vida Marie he’d see if I didn’t like those scores.  I know he was silently praying, Lord please let Simone’s scores be good AND Lord, please don’t let my wife embarrass me.  I marvel at how that man deals with me, but I digress.  I quickly glanced at the report card, focusing on her scores.  I took a deep breath, and the meeting began.

Her scores were a mixed bag.  She scored “on target” ( a 3 out of 5 rating) in most areas (YAY), but received a “1” and a “2” in a few.  As her teachers explained the “low” scores, I did my best to remain calm and focused.  After all, the purpose of the meeting was to identify any areas of concern and that’s valuable.  So, how did I do?  Well, surprisingly I took it in stride.  My hubby was so impressed with me!!!!  He was positive I was going to grill them. Thinking back on it, there was something about her primary teacher’s demeanor.  It was soothing.  Somehow, she made me feel like everything was okay.  I say hats off to her because I know I can be a piece of work, especially when it comes to my babies.  I heard and more importantly I received her message.  Simone is generally on track and only needs a little more help in a couple areas.  We agreed that there were additional steps the hubby and I could take at home to reinforce the classroom learning, and they agreed to apprise us on a fairly routine basis regarding her progress.  That’s a win-win for everybody. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

How was your child’s first report card?  Feel free to brag.  I love celebrating excellence.

Play Dates: What are the Rules?

By:  Davida Grant

My daughter Simone is a rock star!  Her classmates love her and apparently talk about her all the time at home.  Go figure.  Now, I’ve been asked to have a play date.  Ut oh.

I’ll be honest.  Over the last couple of years, I’ve escaped the “play date” with moms I don’t know. We were fortunate to have a nanny until Simone was two and she took Simone to all the play dates. I’m probably making way too much of this, I mean really what’s the big deal.  Can I be honest?  It just seems a little weird to get together with people I don’t know AT ALL to let our kids play together, especially when they see and play with each other five days a week at school and during after care.  But, seeing at this is the trend, I guess I should get on board.

This is my idea of a play date.  I get together with family or a friend (possibly another mom with whom I’ve had a fair amount of contact) that has a child close in age to Simone.  We typically meet at one of our homes and not only let the kids get loose, but WE GET LOOSE.  Yep, a glass of wine or two is typically involved.  So it’s really a good time for all. This formula won’t work with “stranger” moms, because I’m not too keen on them coming to my house or going to theirs.  That means wine is out.  Bummer.  Even if we decide to meet elsewhere, can we really kick back while the kids are playing and have REAL TALK, if you get my drift. Uh noooooo.  We’ll end up having superficial, meaningless chatter.  What’s fun about that?  I work long hours during the week, and because I’m a “Professional” at work I can NEVER completely be Vida Marie.  On the weekends, I want to let my hair down.  Not happening at a “play date” with strangers.

Maybe I’m looking at this all wrong.  Maybe I’m not supposed to have fun.  Maybe a “play date” is just another task we mommies have to endure for the betterment of our munchkins.  So tell me mommies, what are the rules?  Do I need a mental overhaul? How lonnnnnnnnng should a play date last?  Help!

Fantastic Car Seat Coat for Toddlers

By:  Davida Grant

It’s rare that I find a product that I love.  I absolutely ADORE the Cozywoggle car seat coat.

This past weekend, I attended the Femworking Conference for small businesses and bloggers.  I can’t say enough about the conference.  It was AMAZING!  But in addition to all the great information I received that hopefully will allow me to take this blog to another level (fingers crossed),  I discovered Cozywoggle. Here it is.

What I love about this coat is that it reduces the bulkiness my son Grant feels when I put him in his car seat with a standard winter coat.  Grant hates being mushed, which happens when he wears a bulky coat and I have to “fit” him into his car seat.  Not to mention, his other coats make him hot while he’s riding in the car.  Grant takes after his father.  He hates being hot and gets fired up whenever he is and I mean FIRED up!  So how does it work? I put the jacket on Grant and then unzip the sides of the jacket from the bottom all the way to the wrist areas of the jacket.  Then I lift up the backside of the jacket and put Grant into his car seat.  His back rests directly against the lining of the car seat and his arms and chest remain covered with the coat.  In essence, I virtually remove the back of his coat so that he can lay in his car seat as if he isn’t wearing a coat at all. This makes Grant immensely more comfortable.  It allows me to keep the car seat straps in one position so I don’t have to keep adjusting them based on what he’s wearing.  Talk about a time saver in the mornings.  Yay!  Check my buddy out wearing his coat.

Are there other things I like? Yep. It’s lightweight, it’s passed crash testing, and it’s also relatively easy to maneuver the zippers and back of the coat when I opt to place him in the car seat while inside my vehicle  (easiest to do it in the house though).   Bottom line, this jacket is cute, comes in great colors, is available up to a size 5T and most importantly keeps my little buddy warm and irritation-free when he’s riding in his car seat. I even bought one for my 3-year old, Simone.

Maybe Cozywoggle should hire me to do PR.  Seriously though, I love this coat!

My Toddler Finally Likes her Little Brother. Whew!!!

By:  Davida Grant

I think Simone has turned a corner.  Finally, she likes and maybe even loves her little brother, Grant.

My story is not unique.  Many moms have shared that their toddler had issues adjusting to a new baby in the house.  I really hoped and prayed this would not happen to my family.  Adjusting to two kids would be difficult enough for me and the hubby.  Throw an “unwilling to adjust” 3-year old in the mix and it would be a looooooooong summer.  Sigh…. You already know the deal.  Simone Isabella wasn’t having it!

I am a planner and always want every “i” dotted and “t” crossed ahead of time.  So, I endeavored to figure out a way to get Simone on board with our new bundle of joy before she ever laid eyes on him.  With tons of advice from other moms, I started talking to Simone about the baby months before his arrival.  I showed her pictures of a baby and pointed to my stomach.  I talked to the baby while she was present and encouraged her to do the same.  When she played with her baby dolls, I’d emphasize that she’d soon have a baby brother and he’d be similar to her doll.  Simone seemed to be all in.  She’d listen attentively.  She’d rub my stomach.  She’d even point to my stomach and say, “baby, Mommy?”, to which I’d gleefully respond with a yes.  What more could I ask for?  We were on track, right?????  But no matter what I did, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there were rough times ahead.  Simone love Love LOVES being the center of attention.  Yes she can be loving and nurturing, but baby girl has a jealous and mean side to her that can send chills up my spine.  With a new baby, I’d have to share my attention.  Deep down I knew that Simone wasn’t having any part of that.  But I kept my fingers crossed and hoped for the best.

When Simone first laid eyes on Grant, she was all smiles.  “The baby, mommy?” she asked, staring lovingly at Grant.  I was delighted.   Simone seemed happy and ready to assume her role as Big Sister.  Oh how quickly things changed. Literally the next day, I noticed a significant cooling in Simone’s attitude towards Grant.  That morning, she gave him a once over and practically ignored him.  In fact, she only acknowledged him when he cried for an extended period of time.  In those instances, she’d look at me and say, “baby crying, mommy”, which was immediately followed by a look that said, “get him PLEASE!!!!!”  I tried to pique her interest in Grant, but nothing worked.  She wasn’t “mean” to him, but she basically didn’t want anything to do with him.  And every time I directed my attention to Grant, Simone tried to divert my attention back to her.  Simone was NOT willing to share.

I had to come up with something and fast. While I do wear the super mommy cape, there is still only one of me.  There’s no way I could give Simone all the attention she craved.  The hubby and I became a tag team.  If I had to tend to Grant,  he’d focus on Simone and vice versa. But when he wasn’t there, it was really R O U G H.  I wish “ignoring Grant” was all she did.  Simone quickly added to her antics.  She  wanted me to pick her up every time I picked up the baby.  She’d ask for something to drink every time I gave Grant a bottle.  She wanted to change her clothes every time I changed Grant.  But the coup de grace?  My toilet-trained daughter started having “number 2s” again in her panties and sometimes on the floor!  We had hit rock bottom.  My irritation and frustration knew no bounds.  Her regression was not cute on ANY level.  Arrgh!!!!!!  But no matter how much I wanted to kick and scream, I was the adult and I had to figure this out.  Trust me, it was a tall order!!!!

I tried every thing.  We’d have talks about her and Grant.  I made a concerted effort to make her feel included in the day-to-day activities with Grant.  I devised Simone-specific activities to distract her when I needed to tend to Grant.  I even set aside Simone-only time just to make sure she still felt special.  Nothing worked.  For the first three months, I didn’t see one iota of a difference.  And then one day, it happened.  I wish I could point to the trigger, but I can’t.  Simone just up and decided that she wanted to get involved.  Grant was crying and as I started to reach for his pacifier, Simone grabbed it and took it over to him.  She gently put it in his mouth, turned, gave me the biggest smile and said, “I did it, mommy.”  I almost fell over from the shock.  This is the Simone I’d been waiting months for.  Had she really arrived????

It’s been a slow journey.  Simone still has her moments but she has embraced having a little brother.  She’s always hugging him and kissing him and talking to him.  It’s adorable.  She wants to help me change him, feed him and sing him to sleep.  Now, I absolutely have to praise her efforts and I still have to give her lots of Simone-only attention, but I think she’s turned a corner.  Thank God!!!!

What about you?  How did your little one adjust to having a new sibling?